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Gary Lineker, most famous for flogging crisps on the television, was almost suspended from his second job presenting BBC television show Match of the Day after posting a tweet to twitter.com, a website most famous for tweets, regarding the government’s announced immigration policy:

‘an immeasurably cruel policy directed at the most vulnerable people in language that is not dissimilar to that used by Germany in the 30s’.

This is of course what the BBC actually believes, being the propaganda arm of the Fabian Society old boys, despite attempting to innocuously appear to be the propaganda arm of the government. As a result, the BBC had to appear not to endorse Linklater’s comment, and make a show of enforcing its made up impartiality rules. Tim Davie, Director General of the BBC, released the following statement after very briefly pretending to be very disappointed in Spinaker for implying that the government speaks German.

‘Gary is a valued part of the BBC and I know how much the BBC means to Gary, and I look forward to him presenting our coverage this coming weekend’.

The decision to suspend Limburger was of course overturned before it had time to come into effect, it wasn’t so much a slap on the wrist as a waft of gentle breeze in the wrist’s general vicinity.

‘Gary Lineker’s Chips sind scheiße, und die einzigen Bälle, die er heutzutage anfasst, sind die des Liebhabers seiner Frau’ is a statement that Suella Braverman, UK Home Secretary and 1930s German, could possibly have made if asked to comment.

This article is not sponsored by anyone, but I thought it worth mentioning that McCoy’s Flame Grilled Steak crisps are delicious.

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